Mall Cop has about run it’s course in movie theaters around the nation at this point. Surely, another funny movie will come out about a mall security officer that is trying to hit it off with an attractive female. But let it be known that Paul Blart was the first on the scene and deserves all of the credit.
Paul Blart is just an ordinary man. Seemingly in his mid-thirties, he has a daughter and they both live with his mother. He drives a Segway to work, and often is chased by the dog as he leaves the house in the morning. He’s a mall security officer, and is pretty much the only one who takes the job seriously. But he’s ready for a change, he wants to be a regular cop or state trooper. Problem is…he’s hypoglycemic and passes out whenever his sugar gets to low. He would have passed the test with flying colors if he hadn’t passed out two inches before the finish line.
So he waits, and he defends his castle, the mall. He spends his days breaking up fighting women who want the last bra at Victoria’s Secret, trying to give tickets to speeding old men in motorized scooters and Runs into promotional vehicles while staring at beautiful woman who sell hair extensions from a kiosk by the Santa display. All from the wonder of his beautiful Segway. (I’d really like to try one someday).
Amy, played by Jayma Mays, is the beautiful young woman who steals Paul’s heart. (Paul is played by Kevin James, one of the most hilarious comedians of current time). He tries really hard to get her attention, so that his mom and daughter’s attempts to hook him up through online dating do not need to be utilized. Stuart, a pen salesman, often feels the need to put Paul down for his efforts and claims Amy as his own. This sends Paul over the edge one night while they are all at an after work party and he ends up waking up with a couple of interesting tattoos on his back…
There are a couple of twists that I don’t want to let out of the bag, for fear that someone reading this may not have seen it. But suffice it to say that one night the mall gets criminalized while Paul is having a momentary lapse in security patrolling. (He’s rocking out, amazingly well, on Rock Band. Can we blame him?) The dudes and dudettes that take over the place are super awesome on skateboards, bmx bikes, and in just plain gymnastics.
Have no fear you worried readers, who have not seen the movie. Paul takes on the challenge, if for nothing more than to save his precious Amy. There’s the time he knocks out one of his pursuers with a ventilation shaft. Another time he rises up out of a ball pit on his Segway, just to take out a dude on a skateboard. And of course, what movie wouldn’t be complete without him changing into heavier duty clothing with a slow-mo walking scene to finish off the last few perpetrators.
While there are a few more details that I did not fill you all in on, take the time to see this movie. It may no longer be available in the theater by your house, but that’s ok because in a few months you will be able to watch it from the comfort of your own couch. Much like Paul Blart would do if it was a movie about you.
Time: 91 minutes
My Rating: 3.75/5
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